how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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