we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
