i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
