Please, let me fuck your mom
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
