its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
