I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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