Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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