Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
