so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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