Whod you bang
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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