so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
