How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
