I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Farmville is her only friend.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
