google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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