How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
