I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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