I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
A bitchslap is in order.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
