have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize