My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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