before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize