we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
