I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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