I'm really into asian looking animals
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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