Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
