Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
