You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
