i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
