Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize