You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
so much tequila, so little girl.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
