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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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