im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize