google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
