Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
