It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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