She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
