my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
