Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
