Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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