I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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