Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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