You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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