the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My vagina just recognized that song.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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