i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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