ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
