**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Houston, we have a squirter
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
