sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
