idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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