Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
