butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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