omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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