WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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