ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't turn off my feet"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
