We're like a lot better than the average bears
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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