She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
