i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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