Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
