My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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