sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have tasted many bathrooms
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
