Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook

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(519): View more from Ontario

You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.

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(214): View more from Texas

Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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(716): View more from New York

On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

(1-716): View more from New York

I think you broke the trashy scale

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(410): View more from Maryland

when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink

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(+61): View more from Australia

When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me

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