Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
