Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I love having hate sex.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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