Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize