i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
