she smelled like a LAN party
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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