Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
