Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
