she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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