and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
