I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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