i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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