whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
