He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize