goodnight i made you a song goodbye
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
