But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
