we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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