guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
