Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there's paper in my vomit.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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